Commitment. You Can Not Give What You Do Not Have
“Love for no reason at all” -Ram Dass
By Swan Michelle
“The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: It’s in the being. When I need love from others or need to give love to others, I’m caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.” –Ram Dass
If we really know in our bones that we are loved, we would never compromise ourselves nor any other. Everything would be precious to us. There would be no gain nor loss, no one-upping, nor downing anyone because it’s all sacred.
When you love this completely, your love blesses everyone. When you do practices that are committed to implementing loving actions, they not only affect you, but they affect how you will treat all others, near and far, with consideration.
Each action is either a form of love or of fear. For this reason, if you are loving, you do not need another as your source of security and stability from which to Love.
Fear is often a cover up to our own shame. When we are unable to change our mind or do our part, we are unable to change anything. Fear keeps changing it’s story. Love does not change. Love is simple. Love is love.
Our level of commitment is revealed in so many ways. Commitment to supporting ourselves financially, daily responsibilities, health, family, spiritual practices, mental stability, a clean home, architecting our dreams, attending to the earth, and our relationships to others.
Just as presence cannot really be partial, commitment can’t really be partial. You either are or you are not committed. It is only when we are fully committed to the present that the present reveals its fullness to us. If we are partially committed to anything, it will never be enough, and the fullness of those revelations will never be revealed.
How do we know we are loved? Others might deeply love you, but it doesn’t mean that you are love. Giving, which isn’t always the same as sharing, can be an expression of Oneness and Love. Commitment multiplies giving. Commitment is sharing. This is Two-ness. Two-ness leads to unity, which is Allness. What is the deepest thing we can share together? The Truth.
There can be no love, nor presence if there is fear. There might be a little love. But a little love means it isn’t love. Fear invents. Fear separates us from our innate values.
In love, there are no others nor separations. In Love, we are committed to being Whole and we simply Love others for no reason at all.
Prema, a Sanskrit word for “Supreme/Universal Love,” is a Truthful, reliable shelter of Divine Love. There are many false shelters. They will prove undependable. If you are the source of love, you cannot really “get” love, nor are you endlessly searching for it. When we realize we are love and loved, it is only then that we can extend love instead of inventing more fear.
The ego is sneaky. It has its purpose. But its purpose isn’t really to love. It thinks it gets love, gets attention, or is somehow beyond any internal ethics as to how others are being treated. The moment we think we are getting love from another as an opportunity, we have begun to turn away from love’s essence. Seeking love reinforces separateness.
If you are being love, it may remind another of who they are so that they can find it for themselves, within themselves. This is your personal vow and commitment to love and devotion, yet this alone ultimately each being must do. Within themselves and within ourselves, a love we each must find.
Not everyone is ready to receive love. They may not have been committed to it before. That is definitely a clue, but there is only one reason why: Fear. If one hasn’t been honest to turning towards the inner envelopment and the barriers that stop them from loving unconditionally, they can’t fully give it, nor receive it.
There will inevitably be other humans that end up hurting us. This isn’t a reason to turn our back on love. This has nothing to do with you beyond your commitment to your work on yourself. Your commitment to wholeness is the greatest gift you can give another and it is the only thing you really can do.
If we love another too much, we might forget our own needs, and they feel sacrificed. Yet, let’s not rob ourselves of such a story. Supreme Love is boundless. It can’t be robbed, and so, how can you really love “too much”?
Remember, giving is Oneness. Sharing is Wholeness.
If we are incredibly committed to ourselves, how far do we take this? Can it not be a bit self absorbed and lofty, unconscious to how our actions affect them? Yes, of course it can. But that is not love.
Individualization, although initially important, does eventually lead to mental and physical sickness, war, and suffering. It has no real connection. Prema is not commitment to autonomy. It is commitment to being who you are, so completely, that you are self contained enough to share yourself fully with another.
When you hold love well within you, you do not seek false shelters. You are also committed to life’s difficult turns because they cannot be separated from your love. You may have bruises, but are totally invulnerable to the need to feel important or loved. What was broken becomes unbreakable.
Invulnerable is my new favorite word. It means your love can never be compromised, no matter how it is tested, due to the deep investigation to your bones’ marrow of where love comes from. Invulnerability does not come from being careless but careful. It does not come from cover-ups, but uncovering. It doesn’t appear free, which can be reckless. It is free.
Loving for no reason at all gives another permission to change and to be exquisite in their uniqueness. It also means you are not threatened by another’s greatness because you know where that shine is coming from and you get to share in it.
Prema is not commitment to homogeny, pretending to be someone we are not. Pleasing another is still a fraud like version of you. It means you do not love yourself. True commitment is to be exactly who it is that you are, sharing, free of us all guessing.
You cannot give what you do not have. Commitment is not always convenient. It doesn’t always feel at the time like it really benefits us. Be committed to a larger lens. Myopia will always feel empty, trickster like and lacking, because it is.
Commitment is a protection of Love. It is both noble boundaries and breathing room for each Soul to grow into their ever changing role. A non-committal terrain will breed insecurity and a lack of trust, not ultimately for the other, but most of all, for you. When you betray another, you haven’t really betrayed them. You have betrayed yourself. Secretly, you feel stranded and you will not trust yourself. Nor will they trust you.
The answer: Know that we are loved. But by whom? By another?
Love yourself. Not a projected version. These versions eventually start wars and corrupt goodness. Love yourself. Just the Real you, for within that, you will find us.
Did you know that the Divine exists within you, even if you feel you are flawed? Do you believe that the Divine loves you? Or does the Divine love everyone but you, since you are not as deserving as others due to all of the perpetual pain you have thought or created?
There is a type of Self love that is so deep that it may require a commitment you are not used to. Self love is not just others loving your personality and your talents. The you that needs validation is not the you we mean when we say “love yourself.”
“When you see one thing differently you see all things differently.”- A Course In Miracles Lesson 28
When it is difficult to find the honesty of total appreciation for ourselves, relationship is there to assist us. Relationship is a privilege, a mirror and a microscope. It’s a true test to see someone at all times and throughout many years, observing their hardships and triumphs, their falls and their gifts, and just simply love them for no reason.
Your commitment to one thing does not make that thing exclusive, yet your commitment to one thing is your commitment to all things. You then realize your commitment to one thing is the means of revealing its purpose to you, which later reveals the purpose of all things equally. Commitment is your contribution and application to seeing all things as they really are.
Commitment reveals your willingness to see things differently, Soul to Soul instead of just role to role. Nothing is ever by itself if it is in itself. Commitment is seeing what is in itself, not separate at all.
“The light you will see in anyone of them is the same light you will see in them all.” -ACIM, Lesson 28
Commitment, the application and work of Love, has boundaries. Commitment implies reliability, single pointed in nature. When you say, “yes” to something, this implicitly and respectfully means you have committed to saying “no” to others. And a “no” that you mean will always bring about many other “yes’s” that were not before recognized, available, or seen to you.
When it is painful to see the difficult aspects of another that you find yourself up against, this is your work. Dig deeper into you. You don’t have to take their inventory. Hopefully you can trust that they are doing their own. And if you do not see them doing their work, trust your red flags, because soon, all commitment’s you too are involved in with them may not be as they appear singularly to you.
Red flag: If someone cannot commit to themselves, how can they commit to you?
“Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not ‘I love you’ for this or that reason, not ‘I love you if you love me.’ It’s love for no reason, love without an object. Those particular thoughts that are painful – love them. I love them to death!” -Ram Dass
If you wish for your personal commitments to be honored, start with being certain to respect the commitments of others. This of course is not a guarantee that your solidarity will be reciprocated. Yet, if you never lose sight of yourself, you can always remain genuine to your own experience of commitment. Partner and belong to yourself. Being non-committal to our inner values is the most devastating loss of all.
Sanskrit, my favorite language, has more words for the variances of Love than any other language, as a mirror of the many ways in which to apply connection. There is simply no relating to each other or these forms or roles without commitment.
We uncover our loving nature when we realize we have no reason to Love, yet still go on loving. May you be committed to going into the source of this love, careful, mindful, and for no reason at all, for then in you, is found a commitment we can trust.
“ Love everyone. Tell the truth.” -Neem Karoli Baba
Happy Saint Valentines Day month! Stay committed to the most important thing, Swan Michelle